The Bible says that you will get *fiery darts* as mentioned in Ephesians 6:16 which states “Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked”. These come in many forms. You used the word *emotional attacks* to describe the darts in your marriage.
Human emotions are like the weather- hot one moment, cold the next. Or like the tide- currently high yet low within 6 hours. Emotions exist in the soulish realm and are self-inflicted. But God doesn’t want us to be led or directed by our emotions. He wants us to be led by the Spirit. He informed us that we must worship Him in spirit and in truth. John 4:24 says“God is a Spirit: and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth.”
Let’s use your words *emotional attacks* which could be considered *fiery darts*. What you experience as *emotional attacks* are your emotional responses to the actions of another. While it may seem as the other should be responsible for causing your hurt feelings, in reality, only you can change how you feel. Yes, only you can transform, transmute, alter, modify, revolutionize, adjust and amend or even shift by knowing that God’s Holy Spirit is there to comfort you, NOT your husband. The Holy Spirit is waiting for you to seek Him, not your husband, for your self-inflictions called *emotional attacks*. Each *emotional attack* is like an outbreak, assault, incident, strike, raid, violence, defense and criticism.
You wanting your husband to be there for you emotionally is a bit unreasonable. Your emotional state is yours, and you control it. The more your husband soothes your emotions, the more you will want him to. The more emotional support you get from him, the more you will want. The end result of this is that you will begin to look primarily to your husband for emotional support, instead of looking to God. This is idolatry. God wants to be our Source, even in marriage.
Your husband is feeling guilty anyway because the Holy Spirit has come in and is at work in the situation in answer to your prayers. This is evident by your husband’s asking you to forgive him. The Holy Spirit is convicting him, is converting him, is in the process of convincing him that God is real and that God’s love is perfect. The Holy Spirit is showing your husband that God loves him and has forgiven him, and that He comforts the both of you through your prayers.
This situation has happened in your marriage, and if you allow it, God will get the glory. It is not about your emotional state. Also, this is not about what your husband did. Rather, the question for you at this point is, Can you forgive your husband from your heart, and love him in and through his process? You must understand your husband’s actions according to Proverbs 6:32 “But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.” You removed yourself from the Proverbs Challenge after the first month but if you would have continued to study the Proverbs this have given you wisdom to manage your emotional responses that you call Emotional Attacks, and would have kept you in the the Word daily.
The Message Bible records Proverbs 6:32-35 like this- “Adultery is a brainless act, soul-destroying, self-destructive; Expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good. For jealousy detonates rage in a cheated husband; wild for revenge, he won’t make allowances. Nothing you say or pay will make it all right; neither bribes nor reason will satisfy him.”
Let’s look at Proverbs 6:32 in more depth. The person who commits adultery 1) lacketh understanding; 2) destroyeth his own soul. The fact that he destroys his own soul is interesting because the soul is that part of man that David spoke of in Psalm 42:1 saying “As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after Thee, O God.” According to God’s Word, your husband’s soul has been destroyed which means damaged, terminated, abolished, ended and finished. In other words, his soul has been damaged, ripped, injured, broken, wounded, made to be impaired, lost functionality and caused harmed to. This is what your husband has experienced by his own actions, and this explains why he cannot be there for you emotionally. Only God can give you salvation which is Divine restoration. He alone can rescue you, release you and renew you from your emotional attacks. God promises in Psalm 23:3 that He alone restores our souls. Therefore, surrender your wounded soul to God. Curl up at the foot of the cross, because that is where all of your healing was finished according to Jesus’ (the Word of God) declaration as He hung on the cross, “It is finished.”
Know this! Your husband is under conviction. Yes; he has asked God to forgive him and asked you, but he is still feeling guilty and shameful. Your responses to feeling emotionally attacked and your fragile emotional state do not and will not help the healing process. Remember, they are a part of that tainted portion.
The true healing Source of your emotional support is revealed in Psalm 34:17-20 (KJV) “17 The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. 18 The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. 19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all. 20 He keepeth all his bones: not one of them is broken.”
God delivers the righteous out of all their troubles (damaged emotions, distrust, unforgiveness, difficulties, worries, distresses, anxieties, cares, misfortunes, concerns, problems, messes, sufferings, woes), just to name a few.
As you go through the healing process, hold onto these promises from God’s Word:
Romans 8:38-39 (KJV): For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37 (KJV): Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.
Psalm 40:13-15 Soften up, God, and intervene; hurry and get me some help, So those who are trying to kidnap my soul will be embarrassed and lose face, So anyone who gets a kick out of making me miserable will be heckled and disgraced, So those who pray for my ruin will be booed and jeered without mercy.
Psalm 42:5 Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God— soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He’s my God.
Psalm 42:6-8 When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse everything I know of you, From Jordan’s depths to Hermon’s heights, including Mount Mizar. Chaos calls to chaos, to the tune of whitewater rapids. Your breaking surf, your thundering breakers crash and crush me. Then God promises to love me all day, sing songs all through the night! My life is God’s prayer.
Psalm 42:11 Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God— soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He’s my God.
Psalm 43:5 Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God— soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He’s my God.
Psalm 57:7-8 I’m ready, God, so ready, ready from head to toe, Ready to sing, ready to raise a tune: “Wake , soul! Wake up, harp! wake up, lute! Wake up, you sleepyhead sun!”
Psalm 62:1-2 God, the one and only— I’ll wait as long as He says. Everything I need comes from Him, so why not? He’s solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul, An impregnable castle: I’m set for life.
Psalm 62:5-6 God, the one and only— I’ll wait as long as He says. Everything I hope for comes from Him, so why not? He’s solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul, An impregnable castle: I’m set for life.
Psalm 97:11 Light-seeds are planted in the souls of God’s people, Joy-seeds are planted in good heart-soil.
Psalm 103:1-2 O my soul, bless God. From head to toe, I’ll bless His holy name! O my soul, bless God, don’t forget a single blessing
God is not asking you to disregard your feelings. Rather, He is imploring you to give them to Him and to look to Him for what you need. He alone can heal, restore and comfort your soul. He wants you to keep your eyes firmly fixed on Him while He works in and through this situation for His glory. Trust Him and believe HIs Word.